i am loving you a

This article i wrote , is to tell you how much important you two for me. it doesn't mean i am loving you two with a same degree. for some reason i always remember our togetherness with the A person, in other way i am wanted the B person for having some togetherness. it's really quite difficult for me to make sure who is the one i wanted for being in love.

I known i am not a best person, i am not a perfect man. But this feelings can't pretend that i am loving two person at the same time. so i've to choose one but it doesn't mean i will be loved too. hard to choose then losing one, it's not like a bus that losing one you can still get another one. if this happened you losing one, not sure you will get the other one.

condition pushing you to choose, but you are not ready . it seems like you wanted to get them two. if it happened it will just a game with fire, you will be burned or you will burn. i always pray to god to "show me the way and lead me to that way, tell me the way and make her close with me." i was dilemma for this condition. some people tell to leave but i can't i am stuck with this. someone tell me to forgot them , i can't do that for now, coz as long as i can meet her two i can't stop thinking 'bout them. it feels like you want to suddenly disappear from the world and never come to see her faces.

if now i can get the job in Jatinangor, maybe it's the time for me to forget all the memories and start from beginning. without the past memory, live the life without past, and walk away the time with new person. i really really sure that i can't fully forgotting them but i have to do this, or i will make them disappointed in me. i know some point to be loved and loving, but i am to poor to do that with my own logical.. i am just heard my feelings, leading it into some mistake i've made before. and suddenly i know it will happened but i ignore the warn.. now i get this all what i worried for.

i hate the way you two make me smile, happy
i hate the way you love me although it's not a big love
but i really hate that i can't hate you ,
although i hate you two for some reason i really really do love you ..

regards
Andy,

Posted in: About Me